A curious evening

Today was the day I picked up my flat keys. Walking between the car park and the flat, the effect of Mariä Himmelfahrt on the city is drastic. The place is absolutely dead. Upon seeing the flat completely empty, it becomes clear that furniture will definitely be necessary. I encounter another resident, but only very briefly. I forget her name within minutes.

Today is also extremely hot. Hence, I decide to pack the bulk of my things in the evening and move them into the flat when it has cooled down a bit. Things get later than expected. I bump into my landlord on the stairs, who looks at me as if I am faintly unhinged, lugging boxes to the car at past 21.00. I get to the flat at around 22.00. Much heaving ensues, there are many stairs, extremely steep and uneven. I meet another of the tenants, a friendly ground-floor dwelling woman having a cigarette. It seems that news of "the new renter" has spread. At around 22.50, the work is done. Starving and exhausted, I resolve to head home and aim to grab something on the way.

There is no food on the way. However, I remember that there is a McDonalds, beacon of holiday-bucking slave labour, not far from the flat. Arriving, I am faced with a trio of grinning people, one of whom raises his phone and starts taking pictures, motioning me to stay in the car. I oblige, figuring that anyone else at McDonalds this late must be as deranged as me. Getting out, the camera wielder asks me:

"Do you speak Deutsch?!"

"Ja"

"Komisch, auf der rechten Seite zu fahren oder?

"Nein, nicht besonders, ich bin daran gewöhnt."

"Bist du in der Bundeswehr oder was?"

"Nein, ich mache ein Pflichtpraktikum."

"Ein Jahr?"

"Genau."

Another of the group:

"Sein Deutsch ist besser als dein Englisch."

I take advantage of this switch of speakers to head into the welcoming fluorescent glow of the McCafé, but it strikes me at the same time that this level of immediate openness and friendliness without the aid of alcohol would be unusual in England, but seems less so here.

I gain a free glass with my McChicken-Menü. It offsets the fast-food guilt, but only slightly.

Arriving back in Kissing, the sky is incredibly clear. I walk out of my street and away from the violent orange of the sodium street lamps. Heading into the large open area nearby, the light fades. The stars are dense, the milky way a smudgy streak across the sky, a few late Perseids flash. I am standing opposite a dense field, but in a brand new parking space, in a brand new road in front of the empty space where there will be a brand new house, whose occupants will need brand new street lights to make sure they cannot see the stars.

The 2nd Week

Seemingly continuing in the trend of only updating weekly...

Work has progressed reasonably well this week. I am starting to settle down in the office, get used to the dynamic etc. The work I am expected to do is also becoming clearer and more varied. I get to do a mixture of translation, correction and original content. The first two are fairly easy and of interest, in as much as it is funny to see the German thought process behind the slightly mangled English sentence. The latter is considerably more difficult but substantially more enjoyable; I am simply given a list of bullet points and asked to spin them into fluent English marketese.

The extent of work required for the database has also become evident. There is an absolutely vast amount left to be done, with very little time left to do it. There are over 100 items left to check through, which involves making sure that the right images, marketing text and technical data are present. These problems can normally be corrected, but it looks like I am going to have to produce a lot of new text extolling the virtues of cushioned backpacks. I think I am single-handedly expected to remedy the understaffing problem...

There was an office social evening at a beer garden. The beer and food were excellent, the weather was fine and it was a nice opportunity to chat with my co-workers without it being a distraction for them.

To finish, two brief quotations:

"It is amazing how, in such a large and successful company, the little things are done so badly."

"It is ridiculous, we produce infrastructure, yet our own doesn't work!"

Episode II: Revenge of the Bureaucracy

Early in the week, an email arrives at work. In it, a list of six administrative items I have yet to supply and need by Friday in order to get paid for August. These are: Sozialversicherungsausweis, Lohnsteuerkarte, Bankverbindung, Kopie meines Reisepasses, Krankenkasseformular and Einkommensteuerbefreiungsformular. I explain that my upcoming change of address makes the first two items well nigh impossible to obtain, supply the 3rd and 4th and set about completing the last two.

For some reason, EHIC cards/E111 forms are not quite enough in these parts, and some other form of insurance is preferred. The DAAD offers reasonable insurance for students spending years abroad in Germany (full health/medical cover for €23,50/month) and are very easy to deal with, so I might recommend them to anyone who finds themselves in a similar situation.

A Lohnsteuerkarte, while strictly unnecessary when earning the kind of wages normal for Praktikante, or indeed anyone on their year abroad, still seems to be something people like you to have. Getting hold of a Sozialversicherungsausweis individually is quite difficult and is something your employers/university/school should be able to help you with if necessary.

Here's to a happy Ummeldung in the coming week.

The factory

On Thursday after lunch I am given a whistlestop tour of the manufacturing buildings by Günther L and Claudia N, the two people primarily responsible for the databasing program. Günther is in his early 30s and is almost evangelical when it comes to conveying his enthusiasm, not only for his database but for the strengths of his employer: "this is the most flexible factory in the world!". He is also keen on football and Ritter Sport. Claudia is a rather fierce late 40-something, somewhat less friendly and a lot less talkative than her co-worker.

There are four huge halls of which I see three. Things progress from one end to the other getting progressively closer to the final product. The number of products, people and machines is extraordinary. Work continues non-stop at a rate of about 10,000 units/day.

What really leaves an impression is the makeup of the workforce. A man at either end of the production line and nothing but women in-between. Günther says that this is because men are terrible at small scale repetitive work: "If you employ men you will produce far more faulty products. Women are much better at detailed work, and their hands are smaller. You only need men for the lifting." Claudia mutters grimly "and they're cheaper too".

Gainful employment

So, as the title of the 'blog suggests, work started on the 3rd August. The company is spread over a huge area comprising manufacturing buildings, offices and logistics. The buildings vary in modernity, from the 60s to the last few years.

The Office: Product Marketing is in one of the older buildings. The welcome into the team has been extremely friendly. There appeals to be a great deal of enthusiasm now that 'unser Native Speaker ist da!'. This is, I think, on account of the fact that, since the merger cum takeover, all work has to be done in English, despite everyone actually being German. That said, everyone at the office is extremely welcoming and friendly. I have been stalked online and all seem tickled by the fact that I am a tenor, hmm. I am currently occupying a holidayer's desk, though we will see where I end up. I have been supplied with my own laptop which I don't bother taking home.

It is too early to say exactly what work entails. The first couple of days were spent getting settled in and looking over some product material to familiarise myself with what is being sold. I was registered with the canteen, whose food is pretty edible and ridiculously cheap for Praktikanten. Pork saltimbocca + spaghetti + yoghurt choc dessert + bitter lemon all for €2.55! I have been given an access card, which automatically registers when I arrive and leave to make sure that I don't slack.

I was then trained in the use of a fairly complicated piece of databasing software, designed to integrate all the processes of the company, from individual components right up to marketing. It is not hugely easy to use, but has the potential to be extremely powerful. It has only been in use for a little over a year, so there is a still a degree of teething trouble. It is incredibly flexible in what you can do with it. However, with flexibility comes more options, which can be a little bewildering.

The major issue for marketing in particular is that entering info in boxes in order to produce material is very different from mocking up sheets. For some people, this shift in working style appears to have been neither easy nor welcome: "I used to be able to make up a sheet in Word in 30 minutes, now it takes me half a day!" However, if one imagines 30 documents, the same detail in all of which needs to be changed, it makes far more sense to have something that can change everything simultaneously. Furthermore, with this one program, it is possible to manage all the printed material, online shop material and online marketing material simultaneously and cohesively. The end saving in work will be great, but in the short term it is not as easy.

This is where muggins the foreigner comes in. I have not yet taken sides in the great fight and, as such, am seen as a useful go-between. I get trained in the software by the people who run it, then go back to marketing and help deal with it there. What is more, if I unintentionally insult either side, this can be put down to linguistic inexperience...

The next month is set aside for entering all the material for accessories and peripherals, which is one of the last things to be done. It is very overdue, but hopefully I should be able to get it done quite quickly, within the next couple of weeks perhaps.

Would you like some internet with your lingerie?

My current residence is sadly devoid of interwebs. I have managed to alleviate this problem by buying a rather inelegantly named Internet Stick from Tchibo. Yes, Tchibo, the place that sells coffee, household wares and underwear. It does have limits on download/upload etc. but is quite a handy solution for internet in a fix.

I try covertly to top up my account online while at work (Tchibo apparently being one of the few sites unblocked by the company's draconian filter, though it has since been blocked...), but when faced with an intimidatingly large picture of a scantily clad woman (in anthracite jazzpants apparently) I close the window sharpish. I suspect even the title of the page 'So sinnlich - Dessous, Nachtwäsche & Accessoires' will be hard to explain away.

It also strikes me that 'sinnlich', a possible translation of which is the somewhat unappealing 'fleshly', is not a good word to mix up with 'sinnvoll' when doing translations or otherwise...

Bureaucracy

You would have thought that, having been through the mill once before, one might be wiser to the paper-fuelled lunacy that is living in Germany and hence be better able to deal with whatever ink-festooned nuisances come fluttering in one's general direction. Sadly, this was not the case.

I had been informed that I should not register with the 'Einwohnermeldeamt' until I was to be living in the same place for the forseeable future. As my current accommodation was temporary I didn't. It then becomes apparent that I need to get a German bank account to register with the company so I can receive my salary, such as it is. So I go to the bank. There I am informed that I will have to pay for a current account unless I can prove that I am in fact a Praktikant/Student.

A few days pass and I get a copy of my contract and a copy of my Immatrikulationsbescheinigung for the bank. Back in the bank (where at least you get free drinks) I am told that without an official document from an Einwohnermeldeamt, I will be unable to set up the account. I point out that I was specifically instructed not to melden. Unfortunately, this doesn't get me anywhere, at which point it becomes clear that melding is going to be the only option. It is a frustrating Wednesday afternoon.

The Kissing Einwohnermeldeamt has conservative opening hours, to say the least. However, as sheer luck would have it, Thursday is the day of the week when they are open after midday. I am still forced to get to work stupidly early to avoid cutting my working day dangerously short. I get to the Kissing Rathaus, which looks more like an elementary school than a government building. I am supplied with the necessary paperwork for einmelding pretty rapidly. However, it is when the person in the office sees the dread word 'Britisch' on the form that I am told that I will also need to apply to the 'Ausländerbehörde'. I feel the blood rage beginning to set in when I am told that, thankfully, all the necessary paperwork is in the same office. For this paperwork two 'biometrische' passport photos are necessary. Extremely handily, I had kept a couple of passport photos in my wallet for months, just in case such a situation should arise.

When I point out that the whole procedure is a little silly as I will be moving shortly and I am only doing it to get a bank account, the woman behind the desk says 'Well lets just pretend I don't know about that.'

Finally back to the bank to get the account, which is achieved within minutes. Then back to the flat via a petrol station. I only mention the station because it was down a funny back street and had a staff of one: a sweet little old lady. I have never encountered such a friendly person behind the desk, let alone such a venerable one. She was so nice I thought her worthy of enshrinement...

Now only three weeks until the Ummeldung...

Accommodation merriment

So, it has been 10 days since the last post. A fair amount has occurred since then, to be split across several posts.

I am living somewhere! The roof flat at Beethovenstraße 54, Kissing. The area is full of extremely new houses, this particular street not even featuring on Google Maps, nor its adjoining road Verdistraße, *groan*. The 'Neugebiet' is fairly nondescript and not very close to the centre of Augsburg, around 20 minutes drive away. Thankfully it is not too far from work either, again only 20 minutes. At least it has a couple of REWE's, which are the closest Germany seems to get to UK supermarkets in terms of range of products and quality.

The flat itself is clean, very new as one might expect, pretty sizeable and not too unreasonably priced. Either way, it makes a good base whence to organise everything here. Pictures will follow eventually.

Next week, I will be moving to my accommodation for the rest of the year. This will be as close to the centre of town as it is possible to get, almost directly behind the Rathaus. I am renting the flat from friends of my father. It is in a moderately old building with a stream running outside the front door. The area is full of restaurants and places to drink, which is good. Again, rent is not unreasonable, and this place has the benefit of being within easily cyclable distance of work. Unfortunately, it is unfurnished, which is going to necessitate buying some furniture from IKEA or scabbing some off people at work.

Most importantly, however, there will be space for friends to crash!