Bureaucracy

You would have thought that, having been through the mill once before, one might be wiser to the paper-fuelled lunacy that is living in Germany and hence be better able to deal with whatever ink-festooned nuisances come fluttering in one's general direction. Sadly, this was not the case.

I had been informed that I should not register with the 'Einwohnermeldeamt' until I was to be living in the same place for the forseeable future. As my current accommodation was temporary I didn't. It then becomes apparent that I need to get a German bank account to register with the company so I can receive my salary, such as it is. So I go to the bank. There I am informed that I will have to pay for a current account unless I can prove that I am in fact a Praktikant/Student.

A few days pass and I get a copy of my contract and a copy of my Immatrikulationsbescheinigung for the bank. Back in the bank (where at least you get free drinks) I am told that without an official document from an Einwohnermeldeamt, I will be unable to set up the account. I point out that I was specifically instructed not to melden. Unfortunately, this doesn't get me anywhere, at which point it becomes clear that melding is going to be the only option. It is a frustrating Wednesday afternoon.

The Kissing Einwohnermeldeamt has conservative opening hours, to say the least. However, as sheer luck would have it, Thursday is the day of the week when they are open after midday. I am still forced to get to work stupidly early to avoid cutting my working day dangerously short. I get to the Kissing Rathaus, which looks more like an elementary school than a government building. I am supplied with the necessary paperwork for einmelding pretty rapidly. However, it is when the person in the office sees the dread word 'Britisch' on the form that I am told that I will also need to apply to the 'Ausländerbehörde'. I feel the blood rage beginning to set in when I am told that, thankfully, all the necessary paperwork is in the same office. For this paperwork two 'biometrische' passport photos are necessary. Extremely handily, I had kept a couple of passport photos in my wallet for months, just in case such a situation should arise.

When I point out that the whole procedure is a little silly as I will be moving shortly and I am only doing it to get a bank account, the woman behind the desk says 'Well lets just pretend I don't know about that.'

Finally back to the bank to get the account, which is achieved within minutes. Then back to the flat via a petrol station. I only mention the station because it was down a funny back street and had a staff of one: a sweet little old lady. I have never encountered such a friendly person behind the desk, let alone such a venerable one. She was so nice I thought her worthy of enshrinement...

Now only three weeks until the Ummeldung...