Telcos and Dashboards

Work progresses, as is its wont. The volume remains much the same. My highly sophisticated scheduling for the release of a product update has kicked off, thrilling texts need to be written.

Seeing as my mug has now been plastered online in a different place, my anonymity is somewhat hindered. Hence, if you want some mild entertainment reading some very forced blog-esque English, you can do worse than to go to http://blog.ts.fujitsu.com/Face2Fujitsu/

Last Thursday involved a short 5 minute tele-conference talk on current marketing activities to around 20 people around Europe, it was thrilling.

Work

It has now been nearly 2 months since nose first hit grindstone. Several things have changed. There was a minor crisis as the company announced the introduction of "Kurzarbeit". This effectively means that people are obliged to work 20% reduced working hours i.e. one day less/week and get 20% less pay. This of itself is hardly ideal, let alone when the same level of output is tacitly expected. The alternative is of course simply firing people. However, given the large amount of paperwork and redundancy pay, as well as the fact that around 10% of employees have been laid off over the last year, the option of simply working people harder for less money seemed like a super plan.

Thankfully, common sense and huge disgruntlement put paid to this merry scheme within a week, resulting in a retraction from the upper echelons. My colleagues were unsurprisingly very happy at this, even though some of them had taken days off in order to get rid of some of their built up overtime (which would no longer have been useable). Another benefit of retraction is that muggins would no longer be the only full-time employee in his office...

Sadly, the retraction of Kurzarbeit did not extend to the making redundant of a colleague at work. My colleague's contract having been up for renewal a month previously, the President himself decided not to renew it. At any other time, this would have been a formality, at this point it was a handy cost-cutting measure. What is so ridiculous is that the person losing their job seems to be exceptionally friendly, intelligent and competent.

The net result of this is that I have been given his job. This is turning out to be far more engaging than the sort of odd-jobs one does as a Praktikant, which by their short miscellaneous nature conversely end up all being rather similar. The job involves dealing with lots of people in lots of different countries and managing all the marketing necessary for the release of two ranges of products. This can involve anything from devising new texts to describe products to getting kit couriered to photo-studios, who then produce the images necessary for PR agencies to produce brochures. Unfortunately, there is still work left from my previous Praktikant engagements, which is still to be finished. This is proving difficult as there is a vast amount to learn in a very short space of time. Sending out mass emails is still mildly intimidating. God forbid I should get a raise, lest my bargainsomeness be reduced.

The 2nd Week

Seemingly continuing in the trend of only updating weekly...

Work has progressed reasonably well this week. I am starting to settle down in the office, get used to the dynamic etc. The work I am expected to do is also becoming clearer and more varied. I get to do a mixture of translation, correction and original content. The first two are fairly easy and of interest, in as much as it is funny to see the German thought process behind the slightly mangled English sentence. The latter is considerably more difficult but substantially more enjoyable; I am simply given a list of bullet points and asked to spin them into fluent English marketese.

The extent of work required for the database has also become evident. There is an absolutely vast amount left to be done, with very little time left to do it. There are over 100 items left to check through, which involves making sure that the right images, marketing text and technical data are present. These problems can normally be corrected, but it looks like I am going to have to produce a lot of new text extolling the virtues of cushioned backpacks. I think I am single-handedly expected to remedy the understaffing problem...

There was an office social evening at a beer garden. The beer and food were excellent, the weather was fine and it was a nice opportunity to chat with my co-workers without it being a distraction for them.

To finish, two brief quotations:

"It is amazing how, in such a large and successful company, the little things are done so badly."

"It is ridiculous, we produce infrastructure, yet our own doesn't work!"

Episode II: Revenge of the Bureaucracy

Early in the week, an email arrives at work. In it, a list of six administrative items I have yet to supply and need by Friday in order to get paid for August. These are: Sozialversicherungsausweis, Lohnsteuerkarte, Bankverbindung, Kopie meines Reisepasses, Krankenkasseformular and Einkommensteuerbefreiungsformular. I explain that my upcoming change of address makes the first two items well nigh impossible to obtain, supply the 3rd and 4th and set about completing the last two.

For some reason, EHIC cards/E111 forms are not quite enough in these parts, and some other form of insurance is preferred. The DAAD offers reasonable insurance for students spending years abroad in Germany (full health/medical cover for €23,50/month) and are very easy to deal with, so I might recommend them to anyone who finds themselves in a similar situation.

A Lohnsteuerkarte, while strictly unnecessary when earning the kind of wages normal for Praktikante, or indeed anyone on their year abroad, still seems to be something people like you to have. Getting hold of a Sozialversicherungsausweis individually is quite difficult and is something your employers/university/school should be able to help you with if necessary.

Here's to a happy Ummeldung in the coming week.

The factory

On Thursday after lunch I am given a whistlestop tour of the manufacturing buildings by Günther L and Claudia N, the two people primarily responsible for the databasing program. Günther is in his early 30s and is almost evangelical when it comes to conveying his enthusiasm, not only for his database but for the strengths of his employer: "this is the most flexible factory in the world!". He is also keen on football and Ritter Sport. Claudia is a rather fierce late 40-something, somewhat less friendly and a lot less talkative than her co-worker.

There are four huge halls of which I see three. Things progress from one end to the other getting progressively closer to the final product. The number of products, people and machines is extraordinary. Work continues non-stop at a rate of about 10,000 units/day.

What really leaves an impression is the makeup of the workforce. A man at either end of the production line and nothing but women in-between. Günther says that this is because men are terrible at small scale repetitive work: "If you employ men you will produce far more faulty products. Women are much better at detailed work, and their hands are smaller. You only need men for the lifting." Claudia mutters grimly "and they're cheaper too".

Gainful employment

So, as the title of the 'blog suggests, work started on the 3rd August. The company is spread over a huge area comprising manufacturing buildings, offices and logistics. The buildings vary in modernity, from the 60s to the last few years.

The Office: Product Marketing is in one of the older buildings. The welcome into the team has been extremely friendly. There appeals to be a great deal of enthusiasm now that 'unser Native Speaker ist da!'. This is, I think, on account of the fact that, since the merger cum takeover, all work has to be done in English, despite everyone actually being German. That said, everyone at the office is extremely welcoming and friendly. I have been stalked online and all seem tickled by the fact that I am a tenor, hmm. I am currently occupying a holidayer's desk, though we will see where I end up. I have been supplied with my own laptop which I don't bother taking home.

It is too early to say exactly what work entails. The first couple of days were spent getting settled in and looking over some product material to familiarise myself with what is being sold. I was registered with the canteen, whose food is pretty edible and ridiculously cheap for Praktikanten. Pork saltimbocca + spaghetti + yoghurt choc dessert + bitter lemon all for €2.55! I have been given an access card, which automatically registers when I arrive and leave to make sure that I don't slack.

I was then trained in the use of a fairly complicated piece of databasing software, designed to integrate all the processes of the company, from individual components right up to marketing. It is not hugely easy to use, but has the potential to be extremely powerful. It has only been in use for a little over a year, so there is a still a degree of teething trouble. It is incredibly flexible in what you can do with it. However, with flexibility comes more options, which can be a little bewildering.

The major issue for marketing in particular is that entering info in boxes in order to produce material is very different from mocking up sheets. For some people, this shift in working style appears to have been neither easy nor welcome: "I used to be able to make up a sheet in Word in 30 minutes, now it takes me half a day!" However, if one imagines 30 documents, the same detail in all of which needs to be changed, it makes far more sense to have something that can change everything simultaneously. Furthermore, with this one program, it is possible to manage all the printed material, online shop material and online marketing material simultaneously and cohesively. The end saving in work will be great, but in the short term it is not as easy.

This is where muggins the foreigner comes in. I have not yet taken sides in the great fight and, as such, am seen as a useful go-between. I get trained in the software by the people who run it, then go back to marketing and help deal with it there. What is more, if I unintentionally insult either side, this can be put down to linguistic inexperience...

The next month is set aside for entering all the material for accessories and peripherals, which is one of the last things to be done. It is very overdue, but hopefully I should be able to get it done quite quickly, within the next couple of weeks perhaps.