Dreieckig oder rund?

Have you heard the one about the two tour managers who walked to the reception?

They were regaled for a full half hour on the complexities of the key numbering system of the hostel.

Herr W seems to think that both Stefan and I are not only English, but entirely lacking in nous. The hostel comprises two "Häuser", imaginatively named 1 and 2. The rooms are numbered 124, 203, 132 etc. It does not require extraordinary powers of deduction to work out that the first number refers to the house, the second to the floor and the third to the room.

Herr W clearly thinks otherwise. This system is detailed with painstaking accuracy. The list of rooms, already indicating the number of beds/room, is heavily annotated. Every double room is circled, despite the 2 next to it. Lines are inserted indicating the floor of the room, despite the previous lecture. Finally, small circles and triangles are drawn, corresponding to the shapes of the keys for the two häuser.

The length of the conversation is exacerbated by regular interruptions from guests, one of them particularly unsatisfied. Apparently, it is absolutely necessary to change the bed linen because polyester sheets are simply unacceptable. In the words of the disgruntled lady, "Ich habe keine Sekunde geschlafen!" Given that the hostel only costs €22/night for huge rooms, this bourgeois crisis is rather unwarranted.

Final negotiations at the reception reveal more oddities. Not only is the use of a tally to mark wine consumption considered rather backwards - "Hier benutzen wir römische Zahlen", but apparently .co.uk suggests that we are from the Ukraine.